So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize