Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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