I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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