I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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