i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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