Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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