You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
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You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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