It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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