Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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