Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize