i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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