Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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