So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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