how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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