I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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