My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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