my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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