what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize