he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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