I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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