I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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