so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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