Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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