Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize