Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize