ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There are leaves in my underwear?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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