Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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