checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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