hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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