There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize