I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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