dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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