I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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