he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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