Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(310): View more from California

i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin. http://tfl.nu/cawx

Replies (3) Good night (1250) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I accidentally burped into my bong.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): I accidentally burped into my bong. http://tfl.nu/o9u9

Replies (11) Good night (526) Bad night (2017) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(707): View more from California

I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx

Replies (27) Good night (525) Bad night (2036)
Favorite
(831): View more from California

I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

(1-831): View more from California

Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(831): I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines. (1-831): Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable http://tfl.nu/f2l0

Replies (15) Good night (3252) Bad night (521)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs

Replies (38) Good night (5204) Bad night (644) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(619): View more from California

I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(619): I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face. http://tfl.nu/73xe

Replies (24) Good night (2395) Bad night (720) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(863): View more from Florida

I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(863): I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy http://tfl.nu/eb50

Replies (10) Good night (3554) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in. http://tfl.nu/k2ap

Replies (11) Good night (3843) Bad night (1098) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu

Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (2589) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

You're a rent hooker.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both. (1-201): You're a rent hooker. http://tfl.nu/wbsz

Replies (14) Good night (3560) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(863): View more from Florida

I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(863): I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious. http://tfl.nu/2u5k

Replies (5) Good night (2431) Bad night (571)
Favorite
(910): View more from North Carolina

He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(910): He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today. http://tfl.nu/xbxf

Replies (5) Good night (1011) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(214): View more from Texas

Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(214): Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina. http://tfl.nu/1pki

Replies (5) Good night (1792) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(931): View more from Tennessee

I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

(480): View more from Arizona

I told you I would

(931): View more from Tennessee

I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2

Replies (7) Good night (2046) Bad night (458)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze

(1-512): View more from Texas

you have the best friends

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze (1-512): you have the best friends http://tfl.nu/c4bj

Replies (4) Good night (2313) Bad night (273)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: