Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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