I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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