I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize