Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize