oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize