You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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