i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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