Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
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I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
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I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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