is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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