Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
only you would photoshop your dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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