Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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