I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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