So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
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Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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