Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize