Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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